100 Funny Jokes to Make You and Your Kids Laugh All the Time

Funny Jokes – Laughing at an adult’s stupidity is a sure way to get a kid’s attention and make them feel better about themselves. On the other hand, it’s challenging to come up with original jokes for kids.

Even the most seasoned dad jokers have a hard time coming up with new jokes in the heat of the moment.

It is important to have a collection of kid-friendly corny stories to use when entertaining your child every spring, summer, and fall.

The best kid’s jokes are the result of a deep dedication to absurdity. Silliness is celebrated rather than intelligence in good jokes for children.

They’re not afraid to be cheesy or rely on a pun that’s a little far-fetched to get their point across.

Fun and lighthearted, but with brilliant puns, the most okay kid’s jokes are a hit with both kids and grownups.

When making a kid laugh, “BIFF! POW! PUN!” is a great example. This is a good, clean way to get people’s attention.

Here are 100 funny jokes that can make you and your kids laugh all the time.

Funny jokes to make you and your kids laugh all the time

1. “What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.”

2. “What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.”

3. “What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.”

4. “Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.”

5. “What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.”

6. “How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.”

7. “Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.”

8. “What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.”

9. “What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.”

10. “Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?
Because she will “let it go, let it go.”

11. “What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.”

12. “Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.”

13. “How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.”

14. “Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her.”

15. “How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.”

16. “What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts”

17. “What building in your town has the most stories?
The public library.”

18. “How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.”

19. “What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.”

20. “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.”

21. “How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves.”

22. “What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.”

23. “How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.”

24. “What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister.”

25. “What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.”

26. “How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.”

27. “What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot.”

28. “What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.”

29. “What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.”

30. “Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.”

31. “Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her mom and dad were in a jam.”

32. “Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.”

33. “How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.”

34. “What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?”

35. “Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.”

36. “What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.”

37. “What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.”

38. “What kind of water can’t freeze?
Hot water.”

39. “What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip.”

40. “What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore.”

41. “What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.”

42. “Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.”

43. “What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.”

44. “What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.”

45. “When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.”

46. “Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.”

47. “What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
Hoppy Birthday.”

48. “What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.”

49. “Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?
Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.”

50. “What’s the one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?
A year older.”

51. “What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.”

52. “What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
They both need a good batter.”

53. “What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday.”

54. “What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.”

55. “Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?
No, they both burn shorter.”

56. “Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?
She wanted to ice it.”

57. “Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it’s never right.”

58. “Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
Because it had more cents.”

59. “Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.”

60. “Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.”

61. “How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.”

62. “What do you call guys who love math?
Algebros.”

63. “Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you count Dracula.”

64. “Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert.”

65. “Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there’s no point.”

66. “Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.”

67. “What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.”

68. “Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.”

69. “What did the banana say to the dog?
Bananas can’t talk.”

70. “Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.”

71. “What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.”

72. “How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.”

73. “What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.”

74. “What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.”

75. “Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.”

76. “What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!”

77. “Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll”

78. “Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.”

79. “Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssside.”

80. “Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.”

81. “What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.”

82. “How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.”

83. “What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.”

84. “What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
8 pirates.”

85. “How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.”

86. “Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.”

87. “How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.”

88. “How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they arrr.”

89. “How do you make an artichoke?
You strangle it.”

90. “What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.”

91. “Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
Because they’re such fungis! (Fun guys, get it?)”

92. “Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.”

93. “Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!”

94. “What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.”

95. “Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad.”

96. “Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
No, you should just stick with turkey.”

97. “Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?
To see butter-fly.”

98. “What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno business!”

99. “What do you give a sick lemon?
A Lemon-aid.”

100. “What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.”

A quick laugh on the spot is sometimes required, and what better way to achieve this than with one of these short jokes?

With the best one-liners, some “what do you call it?” jokes, and even something to make the little ones laugh with these short jokes for kids, you’ll be able to take these out of your back pocket whenever you need them something amusing on the fly.