170 Funny Work Quotes For Entertaining And Full Of Humor

Funny Work Quotes – We find many funny things in our daily life. Funny things that we find are very related to the daily life, such as when we work at school and others that have their own story, meaning, and learning in it.

We all always have a moment that makes us happy and laughs more. We always find these funny moments and embarrassing in society, at work or in the school.

We surely have funny moments that we all always want to share and remember the moment forever, which is full of meaning behind it.

So, this is the time we are getting to laugh together as the moment of life for remembering everything that happened as epic thing moment in life.

These quotes have full meaning for everyone’s life and might get some relate for something in your life.

For that, we will share funny and entertaining things from fragments of words in quotes that will be shared in snippets of tickling and exciting words with extraordinary meaning and discussion.

Here are 170 funny work quotes that inspire and entertain you during a relaxing time.

Funny Work Quotes For Entertaining And Full Of Humor

1. “Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking.” – Anonymous

2. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” – Anonymous

3. “Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.” – Huey Long

4. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law

5. “Anybody, somebody or nobody is ever going to make your life any more than you are willing to do for yourself. So, stop looking around for anybody to do something for you; instead, get your own body going and get it done now.” – Byron Pulsifer

6. “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc

7. “The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” – Bove’s Theorem

8. “The taxpayer, that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” – Ronald Reagan

9. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi

10. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda

11. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau

12. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.” – Chris Rock

13. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald

14. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” – Dennis Miller

15. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Anonymous

16. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

17. “Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs.” – Mary Kay Ash

18. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” -Anonymous

19. “Getting paid to sleep, that’s my dream job.” – Anonymous

20. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” – Stanley J. Randall

21. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein

22. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson

23. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” – Kin Hubbard

24. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.” – David Letterman

25. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

26. “Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.” – Al Capp

27. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy

28. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous

29. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous

30. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

31. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

33. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

34. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” – Groucho Marx

35. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry

36. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” – Josh Billings

37. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin

38. It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” – William Faulkner

39. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen

40. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” – Zig Ziglar

41. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins

42. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome

43. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown

44. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald

45. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” – Dennis Miller

46. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Author Unknown

47. “There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.” – Peter Drucker

48. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

49. “Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.’ – Doug Larson

50. “Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That’s the American way.” – Homer Simpson

51. “Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” – Lewis Grizzard

52. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

53. “All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.” – Aristotle

54. “Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes.” – Henry Thoreau

55. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.” – Unknown

56. “Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” – The Office

57. “Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful.” – Benjamin Disraeli

58. “You never become a howling success by just howling.” – Bob Harrington

59. “Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.” – TS Eliot

60. “If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.” – Benjamin Franklin

61. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” – George Burns

62. “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.” – Unkmown

63. “If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.” – Quentin Crisp

64. “If at first you don’t succeed, try management.” – Unknown

65. “Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.” – Dilbert

66. “Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.” – Joseph Heller

67. “Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.” – Savielly Tartakower

68. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

69. “No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx

70. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

71. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

72. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti

73. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker

74. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

75. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard

76. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” – Clarence Darrow

77. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

78. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx

79. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

80. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

81. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti

82. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker

83. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

84. “People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard

85. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” – Clarence Darrow

86. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

87. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin

88. “It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” – William Faulkner

89. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen

90. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

91. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins

92. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome

93. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown

94. “Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.” – Anonymous

95. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams

96. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy

97. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” – Niels Bohr

98. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia

99. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.” – Muhammad Ali

100. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale

101. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” – Anonymous

102. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.Erma Bombeck.” – William C. Feather

103. “A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” – William C. Feather

104. “The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” – Bove’s Theorem

105. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” – Ronald Reagan

106. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi

107. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda

108. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau

109. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.” – Chris Rock

110. “The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.” – George Bernard Shaw

111. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy

112. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous

113. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous

114. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

115. ” A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Henry Kissenger

116. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

117. “Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.” – Jim Murray

118. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner

119. “Why do people say they wish everyday was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” – Ed Bernard

120. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” – Don Herold

121. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

122. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

123. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing

124. “His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours.” – Arthur Baer

125. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash

126. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” – Anonymous

127. “Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.” – Huey Long

128. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law

129. “Anybody, somebody or nobody is ever going to make your life any more than you are willing to do for yourself. So, stop looking around for anybody to do something for you; instead, get your own body going and get it done now.” – Byron Pulsifer

130. “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc

131. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

132. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx

133. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

134. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

135. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti

136. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker

137. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

138. “People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard

139. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” – Clarence Darrow

140. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

141. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin

142. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” – Niels Bohr

143. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia

144. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.” Muhammad Ali

145. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale

146. “Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous

147. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous

148. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino

149. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

150. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” – Don Marquis

151. “Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” – J. Paul Getty

152. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” – Henny Youngman

153. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” – Mark Twain

154. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright

155. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”- Bertrand Russell

156. “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” – Tim Notke

157. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi

158. “Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” – Pablo Picasso

159. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle

160. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller

161. “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” – Michel Tournier

162. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams

163. “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoret

164. “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.” – Rita Rudner

165. “Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26

166. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

167. “I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth even if it costs him his job.” – Samuel Goldwyn

168. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Anonymous

169. “The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit.” – Dwight Morrow

170. “Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, “Certainly, I can!” Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Those 170 funny work quotes can be used as entertainment for a moment in responding to this life that is full of humor.